for me the hardest question is how do we bear pain. a few years ago, for 6 months, I assisted my mom who was dying of cancer. it was difficult for me to watch her suffer physically, but when it comes to her mental attitude, it was a life lesson for me (perhaps she was a natural stoic?)
for some years, and even now when I think about it, it was painful for me to accept my helpless in the face of someone's pain. So I am looking for a practical application of philosophy in situations that happen to us. it's a constant struggle between the emotional and the reasonable approach.
Eliza, sorry to hear about your mom. Must have been hard. My mother also went because of cancer (so did my father).
What Stoicism and modern CBT teach is that there is no sharp distinction between reason and emotions, the two feed back onto each other. Sometimes this means that we act emotionally and unreasonably (e.g., when we are angry), but it also means that, with training and time, we can affect our emotional responses by way of reasoning.
Sorry to hear about your parents, Massimo. Can I ask if philosophy helped you deal with the death of your parents?
My dad died because of an aneurysm in his heart, so it was a quick death.
comparing the deaths of my parents I see clearly that I can deal (explain it to myself) with grief but not so much with suffering especially when I can't do anything.
I know, repetitio est mater studiorum, but the first time is the hardest.
I actually go in a bit of details about those experiences in How to Be a Stoic. Briefly: yes, my philosophical practice did help. I did not have the benefit of Stoic insights when it happened to my father, and did not know how to handle it. I think I handled it much better when my mother passed away, at least in part because of my Stoic training.
I belonged to a Protestant youth discussion group once called Agape. It was, however, more about Eros.
I was the group's Catholic; my friend Wayne already had the atheist role.
I bet that was fun!
for me the hardest question is how do we bear pain. a few years ago, for 6 months, I assisted my mom who was dying of cancer. it was difficult for me to watch her suffer physically, but when it comes to her mental attitude, it was a life lesson for me (perhaps she was a natural stoic?)
for some years, and even now when I think about it, it was painful for me to accept my helpless in the face of someone's pain. So I am looking for a practical application of philosophy in situations that happen to us. it's a constant struggle between the emotional and the reasonable approach.
Eliza, sorry to hear about your mom. Must have been hard. My mother also went because of cancer (so did my father).
What Stoicism and modern CBT teach is that there is no sharp distinction between reason and emotions, the two feed back onto each other. Sometimes this means that we act emotionally and unreasonably (e.g., when we are angry), but it also means that, with training and time, we can affect our emotional responses by way of reasoning.
Sorry to hear about your parents, Massimo. Can I ask if philosophy helped you deal with the death of your parents?
My dad died because of an aneurysm in his heart, so it was a quick death.
comparing the deaths of my parents I see clearly that I can deal (explain it to myself) with grief but not so much with suffering especially when I can't do anything.
I know, repetitio est mater studiorum, but the first time is the hardest.
The first time is the hardest indeed.
I actually go in a bit of details about those experiences in How to Be a Stoic. Briefly: yes, my philosophical practice did help. I did not have the benefit of Stoic insights when it happened to my father, and did not know how to handle it. I think I handled it much better when my mother passed away, at least in part because of my Stoic training.
So there is hope for me. I need to re-read that passage in your book. Thank you