Practice like a Stoic: 22, Roll with insults

Use self-deprecating humor when someone tries to offend you

Image from ndla.no, CC license.

[This series of posts is based on A Handbook for New Stoics—How to Thrive in a World out of Your Control, co-authored by yours truly and Greg Lopez. It is a collection of 52 exercises, which we propose reader try out one per week during a whole year, to actually live like a Stoic. In Europe/UK the book is published by Rider under the title Live Like A Stoic. Below is this week’s prompt and a brief explanation of the pertinent philosophical background. Check the book for details on how to practice the exercise, download the exercise forms from The Experiment’s website, and comment below on how things are going. Greg and/or I will try our best to help out! This week’s exercise is found at pp. 140-141 of the paperback edition.]

“If some one tells you that so and so speaks ill of you, do not defend yourself against what he says, but answer, ‘He did not know my other faults, or he would not have mentioned these alone.’” (Epictetus, Enchiridion, 33.9)

We’re easily offended these days—and our society takes insults seriously, going so far as to enforce strict rules of conduct within organizations and governments, and on university campuses. This would have been rather puzzling to the Stoics, because insults are a perfect example of the dichotomy of control, and provide us with a very good chance to exercise it.